The Abs Tract

Posted by WebVee on June 20, 2015 in Archives

By Kyle Price-Livingston

Fun fact: not all hallucinogens make you see things. Some do, to be sure, but anyone who has ever told you about dodging flying pink elephants while on mushrooms was either lying or a schizophrenic.

Back in my younger days, when I could still say things like “Hey! Let’s just take a bunch of mushrooms and go for a walk, because I have nothing I really need to do today!” I did a fair amount of chemical experimentation. Mushrooms, I found, don’t give you much of a visual high (colors seem brighter, backgrounds ripple a bit, nothing too major), BUT they have a profound impact on the way you think and the way you express yourself. It’s not that they make you drool or slur or anything, just that they remove all of the inhibitions created by a lifetime of rational, logical thought, and allow you to ramble for hours, spouting absurd half-formed philosophical ideas based upon concepts which seem obvious to the shroom-addled mind, but would be totally incomprehensible to someone who hadn’t literally just poisoned themselves.

My experimentation never led me to try cocaine, but I’ve been around plenty of people who were taking it. They have confidence, energy, and an unshakeable belief that all the world’s problems are within their sphere of influence.

I’m not sure where the guys from Abs-Tract got their hands on the amount of mushrooms and cocaine needed to supply this project, but the end result is as hilarious as it is trippy. This series of videos, purported to be training vids for a new type of exercise, are actually just an excuse for the team to openly mock the cliches and jargon of those late night workout infomercials (with a dash of Tony Robbins motivational bullshit thrown in for good measure).

The videos are short, well shot and clever, and firmly embrace the surreal edge of modern comedy. The Abs-Tract is all available on their website and  on YouTube. Tune in and drop out. Or work out. Or both.


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